人心难测

在现实生活中每个人都必须戴着假面具去做人？要学会擦言观色、三思而后行。为何呢？为什么总要看别人的脸色做事，总要忍气吞声！因为这就是竞争激烈的城市与世界！看不下去 >.<" 我在想一个人如果一直戴着假面具，回到家也会变成了一种习惯吗？真的感觉很累。累去猜测别人，到底谁是黑，谁是白？谁是真心，谁是假意？谁是朋友，谁是敌人？谁是好的，谁是坏的？难道就不能平平凡凡的做人、单纯的做人、快乐的做人，这不就好了嘛！
不知道，无言以对。。。
只能用文字写出我的心声〜

19岁的女孩〜

一个19岁女孩该有的梦想是什么？她，一个人走在火车站的行人道，等着火车的到来，耳机播放着她最喜欢的音乐。跟着音乐的旋律脑袋想起＂未来＂！
上了火车的女孩却不知道到自己到底要去的目的地是哪儿？看着火车的地图（梦想、勇敢、努力、实现）
原以为人只要有梦想就会勇敢、努力、不气馁地追求。但为什么越是靠近梦想却是得不到？究竟她的梦想、她的愿望、她所做的一切会得到要的结果吗？每一次她想要的都好像会被身别人反对，但只要坚持就会被称为是叛逆？是这样的吗？
还是想说不去追求任何的东西，就这样草草了事。不管是在学业、家人、朋友或是爱情，这个女孩都觉得她本身都不能在这之间拿捏好。人生好像又失去了方向？
怎么办呢？火车过了一站又一站？她该在哪一站下车了呢？

改变。幸福 •

2012，10月的第一天。凌晨1点钟，好想分享个人感受！时间过的好快＂究竟是时间改变了人，还是人改变了时间。＂这两句话虽然是同样的字眼但不同的造句带着不同的含义！
当时间改变了人；你的人生就像摇控器一样一直在被别人操控着。随着时间一天又一天的这样过去，时间到了你才慢慢有所改变、觉悟、清醒。那个时候才发现已经太迟了。你已经失去所拥有的，珍惜不到从前那美好。只有痛失、埋怨、哭诉无泪。
人改变了时间；只要设定好自己的目标，不管这路途有多坎坷都会奋不顾身继续走下去。不管旁人的反对，坚持这自己的决定。你可以改变时间，因为是自己在为自己的未来做打算。
幸福•我会在未来遇见你，虽然不知道什么时候，但我会好好的珍惜你，加油我的未来！

惊、慌、怕、愧。夜晚~

不知该如何形容此时此刻的心情，好想抱着一个人痛哭一场~明明心里就是很害怕却要故作坚强。其实心里很想哭，却哭不出来。明明不想回想那经过，头脑却反反覆覆重复着那画面。我真的好害怕，到现在那个恐惧感依然还在~这一个晚上，我一个人驾着车。赶在回家的路途中，发生了一场车祸。交通灯转绿时，突然刹出来的摩托骑士，我来不及的煞车。碰！他从摩托摔了下来。那时候的心情却是糟糕，我会不会撞死人了！我的心很复杂，紧张、发抖、害怕、惭愧等的心情。不敢打给我爸妈。随着年龄成长发现自己很多事越不想告诉他们。宁可自己隐藏着自己，这或许是好事也是坏事。一群印度人围着小女我，当时的我真的不知所措只想赶快把事情解决。我知道自己错了，心理上还是无法接受那事实，我还在恐慌中，这个晚上我真的闭不上眼睛，因为只要闭着眼睛，那一幕和眼泪不知不觉淋湿了我的枕头~今年的第三次车祸！拜托，给我转运吧。 🙌🙏

前途茫然?!

此时此刻的心情---糟！
原来这一种负担是那么的重，重得心头上感觉的刺痛！从小到大都不会是怎么出色的我，总会让身边的人担心和烦恼着。有时候会觉得自己的存在是否成为别人的困扰？还是他们不会了解我所做的一切？
没被看见的努力却遭到别人的践踏。这一种感受有谁能理解。是，我不聪明但我试着从两者之间找到一个平衡点。我做不到，但在过程里起码让我学习了很多。我有努力最求自己想要的，但请不要把我努力到一半的心血拿走。错过了一次，我真的不想再放弃这一次！我会慌、会怕、会难过、会哭....当我想到接下来的路我该如何选择，如果就这样放弃了，值得吗？至少也给我个机会，再次证明给你看！有时候不是不想说出口，只是不知如何开口，我心里的痛没人能理解，也不想说，因为我讨厌自己这个样子！累人、泪人！

六月份的我~

忙我下鄉的活动还想着可以稍微休息了，但其实不！我还得继续忙。不过我在想这不就是我想要的嘛！哈哈 :D 让自己忙，生活就会过的充实更有意义了不是吗？下乡后的再过几天我就去了青少年营和儿童营看看他们的表现，带动气氛还有分享。喜欢看着他们活泼可爱的样子，让我很怀念当初一踏进生活艺术这个大門大家庭。跟著老師的腳步到不同的地方去學習和吸取經驗。當了不少的志工回歸這社會，知道自己在過程中跌跌撞撞很多回才慢慢成長和改變。以前很执着著某件事、某個人，但現在的我可以說真的慢慢放下了。放下以前那幼稚的想法、幼稚的舉止。也許有一天我會再遇見你但那也只是個也許！慶幸我那麼堅強，因為時間和意義的活動冲淡了一切，也不用再每天胡思亂想著過去的＂如果＂和＂結果＂。
用真心去感謝曾經傷過你的人、騙你的人、罵你的人、打你的人、笑你的人、愛你的人、喜歡你的人、疼你的人.....因為他們才真正讓你體會到「人生」！
祝福你和你，大家都可以得到自己的幸福和快樂！哈哈 :D

这一站。休息！

终于终于可以让自己放假了！忙完了手头上所有的东西，这几个月星公主真的过得很充实。所以忽略了部落格。现在我回来了！可以继续我的分享啦。
先从5月份说起吧，这个月呢。我们全体社区服务团大专生都在忙着筹备一个非常有意义的活动。我们将去到麻坡筹办一个生活营给当地小孩。给育英华小的小学生4天3夜的生活营全部由我们包办。还要教导以及传授教育给当地的孩子！除此之外我们也必须领养义弟义妹。教导他们、爱惜他们、保护他们，要把他们当成是自己亲身的弟妹一样爱戴。在那领养仪式我们必须以抽签的方式进行。那感觉就好像在猜测我会生男孩还是女孩。结果我就抽中了两个义妹。很开心！就好像自己多了两个妹妹或女儿。哈哈哈😄 还蛮不错的经验！籌筹办整个活动的過程里又讓我學習也經歷了不一樣的考驗。可以在別人的身上看到了他們的好處來補償我自己的短處。要感謝所有在身邊支持與鼓勵的朋友和合作伙伴。因為你們的一句話、一個問好、一句關心就已經足夠了。讓我更有動力繼續往前衝！哈哈~😄辛苦大家了但留下的是別人拿不走的美好回憶，那一段一起并肩作战的日子！太棒了！

Wonderful day spending wif my darlings 

27/4 Friday,waiting for tis day coz going out wif darlings  as usual every Friday we still got dancing session,our group present to teach others team member to dance den playing all around...can feel tat our relationship become closer n closer!coz we play 100%,dance 100%,sing 100%...woohoo~it's really awesome!finish the dancing session went to Starbucks for 50% discount,we drank together,chilling for a while den start our journey~hahaha  we went to klang for a day trip...lol...my car full of laughter all the way frm subang to klang,funniest gang we are...hahaha  SS-ing n cam whoring in the car~
Dinner time at 88 steamboat,had a lot of fun wif my darlings~eat,eat & play,play & feed each other...awww~that's so sweet 
Well our happy hour time,went to I-city,took a lot picture,done a lot of funny things,play a lot of funniest stuffs,took a lot of videos n we done our mission impossible...hahaha 
Really had a lots of fun n happy spending the times wif my darlings...the times wasn't enuf for me,coz I really wanna spent more time wif darlings~but it's too late  I hope we still got another chance together~woohoo...love u all so muchieee~ 

Busy April

Hi guys,so long din update my blog edi as the title I'm totally busy on tis month n coming up next month coz tis few month we are so hardworking n busy to do the preparation b4 the community service!I can say I'm really happy n lucky to make tis choice,I change my college,start a new college life n my life become wonderful n colorful everyday~hahaha  my friends around me,my STACT Club n many more... I can feel all the love frm them & I will appreciate tis relationship forever  at least got ppl to care u,support u,giv u advise and so on...
Sometimes I really feel myself is the lucky one,lucky star  when I'm younger,I got a group of cousin playing around wif me.When I'm in primary school,I started to hav my own friends n my librarian friends.Well,when I'm in secondary school,I also hav my librarians group of friends n my YES!Club friends.When I started my college life I also got my Segi's group of friends...now change to Inti,my life is still full of friends around me...so friends,u all are so lovely to me,so important in my life!I love u guys forever 

16th of April

Its my big day...hahaha ^.^ coz is my birthday and also is my mum suffer day~1st nid to thank to my mum who born me out on tis day till now a 19th years old big gal...I appreciate n feel thankful for wat she gave to me,she is always my superwoman,busy frm the day to night,cook for us,feed us till we become a big gals n big boys,giv us all the best things,caring all of us and many more,I can only say mum sacrifice everything for u,and she will never ask for any reciprocation...see how grateful she is!!! 
Tis year my birthday is quite a special,hahaha  coz most of them earlier celebrate wif me...my STACT celebrate wif me on saturday den my family celebrate wif me on Sunday we ate Korean food at Ampang,awesome!  den Monday which is the real date for my birthday,celebrate in college wif my another classmates,coz she also same birthday wif me!wow  tis is call fate...hahaha~thank u for everyone wishes,I really feel so touch edi 
Den thx for ppl who treat me dessert,and wat u say to me is really surprise me edi,u had already bring me a big present~hahaha  den went to watch movie together,so the s 
Well,it's really an unforgettable birthday for me,thx for everyone around who love or hate me,who noe me or dunno me,who admire me or not...I jus wanna say thx for being a part of my life and bcoz of u,my life is colorful  love my big family,my Stact darling,my beloved friends,my dear....hahaha 

感动的一天

今天是我们下乡服务计划团的第二次 training...哈哈哈  好玩，好笑，好伤，好感动 早上7点多就到学校了，今天重大的任务呢就是团康组的我们必须带领全体筹委一起带动气氛和教跳舞。早上的精力还不错喔，很有ooomm 的感觉，因为我们下定决心要让别人对我们刮目相看。呵呵  一起吃了早餐聊了一会儿，我们就去集合了。听讲座，玩游戏，长这么大了很久没有人背我了！哈哈哈  感觉还蛮刺激的嘛！被高人背着，还要让他跑，还有一边寻找别人。好玩但也很恐怖！然后就到我和你一起教舞啦！默契的我们，没什么难得到我们！嘻嘻 Training 到了中午时间又一起吃午餐，和我的组长还蛮好聊的耶，因为她很亲切、大方、美丽又乐于助人....再回到training 的时候其实我整个人已经快累垮了，没有什么动力了，但还在逞强尽量做到最好。也许是昨天太夜睡了吧，搞得我整个头好晕，不舒服。无所谓啦，只是没之前那么high 了！到讲座环节，我其实已经不行了，结果到时间我要求早走因为还得赶去上班，结果银幕上突然一改，看见自己和妈咪的照片在上面并写上"祝我生日快乐，你的生日就是母亲的受难日" 啊~好感动喔，还有蛋糕、生日歌、礼物还有最亲爱的你们的祝福。这一切都在我省志不清的情况下发生，还要差一点让我落泪，你还说这是给我的惊喜。非常好！谢谢你，谢谢你们，爱我的每个人，生日还没到就先受到满满的祝福！感动  谢谢大家！

清明节！

今天一大清早就起身了因为必须赶回去怡保扫墓！天未亮大概5点多就出门了哦~在车上的我边听着我最喜爱的歌曲，呼噜呼噜的睡着了。可能是这几天都累坏了吧！
爸在半路停车吃了早餐再继续上路。祭拜祖先，好怀念爷爷在生的时候。记得我们以前在一起的欢乐时光，但现在就连亲戚相聚在一起的机会都少了~各都有各的忙了吧！
祭拜完毕后，我们在怡保逗留了一会儿。去大伯家、去个山洞观看石佛像、去吃午餐、然后回家！天气炎热，真的好难顶!

Love Moves Around the World

30/3 was a special day which full of events!wow  yesterday was really my day!hahaha  morning around 11am++ went to college for STACT meeting coz tis time we gonna meet wif those MCA ppl...so is like very important la,but I jus went for 40 minutes den I gtg...actually i really like wednesday and friday coz i can go to s. and tat's only the chance u came closer wif me!but so sry i hav to rush back to Klang wif 150 speed...den I gonna rush to PWTC,KL to meet my beloved GURUJI  hahaha~owhhh,well is the 2nd times he came to Malaysia.Whenever the place where he be sure will full of love powers so as one of the aol member how can I miss out the chance to meet him...hahaha  we as YES! ppl reach there and be volunteers...had a lot of fun wif them coz we really behave very sporting YES! run here and there shout out to take the attention frm Guruji~and he saw us!!!hahaha  funny~it's so call as a gather of our one big family,get to meet up wif each other again...after the talk den went to steamboat wif my family,hahaha  turned up tired to the max 101%

默默

改怎么去面对，
不敢于往前一步
只想好好的待在你身边。
习惯了跟随你的脚步、你的旋律
你的一举一动、一言一语。
超过了友情却不到爱情。
你的好与坏都看见了
却不知不觉的喜欢你的全部
在没得到她的允许之下，你走进了她的世界
愿意和你分享每一天的快乐和悲伤
默默地守护在你身旁


Black pepper udon?!

Hahaha  stay at house these two days is really fun,addicted to cook...today dinner time also I cooked!my family wanna eat black pepper udon,so I decided to cook it tonight as tmr I will start busy,hahaha  afternoon time quickly go buy the black pepper sauce tat my aunt say very nice wif my mum~
den back to home start to cook,hahaha  luckily got my mum assist me~
Turn up gd taste also!wow!
Hope one day I got chance to cook to my lovely~幸福的味道

Monday-cooking day~

Woohoo~A new week start on Monday,got a very gd feeling to cook~hahaha  Spaghetti my flavorite food and also my speciality dishes~so I used around two hours to cook,coz I really put my 100% effort and love while cooking~
Cooked carbonara sos and the tomato sos,damn nice...hehehe my mushroom soup also special de lo~ahahaha
Den out wif mum,go buy something...now a days,my mum damn cute,can't stop laughing when talk to her  # like a kid ah~
Tat's my day~waiting for Wednesday to come...hahaha 

365+1=busy day~

Pass one week again~lol...after tge two days of rest,I'm started to busy again~jus can rest well on the last two days den start frm Wednesday go college again to attend my STACT Club meeting!  it's really had a great time in every meeting...coz we will had a lot of fun,laughter and enjoy every moment we being together  although the 1st training we didn't did well but we sure can improve and to become the best!  hahaha~so all the best for us ba~it's really gd to hav ppl to sharing and caring 
Thursday,woke up early in the morning and being called up to promote the upcoming events our art of living master is coming Malaysia to hav a public talk,so we gonna promote it and sell the tickets!I think it has been a few months I din work out wif my aol group!hahaha 
Den at the night time hang out wif Raymond again,we did proposal together in a very gd environment-Setia Alam Starbucks!hahaha well,is a gd place and to let us got the feel to redo again our proposal and brainstorm together 
Friday,went college again...is also for STACT!we went there and learn dance!wow,it's really awesome,guess wat I think we had learn about 10++ song!hahaha I really like to be wif tis motivation group coz we always lead to be motivate other members...hahaha
Saturday,working day again~had changed to a new environment place to work-NSK!wat a sucks place,seriously damn dirty and smelly,u will faint if u went to the store room!my goodness,the 1st time I went there give me a really bad impression but no choice ba,coz they got a lot of ppl so I hav to promote YAKULT at there,so everyone who wanna buy YAKULT can jus buy frm me hahaha~
Sunday,which means today is jus as Saturday working day,but today my sales is better den yesterday more~hahaha...gonna hit the targets and get more commission,so gambateh!!!

我的下一站。幸福呢？

夜深了，却很有一种灵感想要分享 
不知不觉中就快要到19 岁啦！哈哈 说老不老，年轻不年轻。因为如果在你的生命里，你只可以活到30岁那么你的19岁就算老了！如果你可以活到80岁以上那么你的19岁就还算年轻啦~呵呵 我知道很废啦！
就快要迎接19岁的我真不知道接下来或未来会发生什么事，但愿一切顺利就好。对于未来，我抱着一种希望与渴望！我的幸福啊，你何时会来敲我门呢？到底该在哪一站下车！唯有等着哪个他的出现才是我对的人 哈哈~加油吧！笑着看明天！

休闲啊~ 

終於可以稍微休息了，哈哈 开心~
假期到现在，其实自己也没有真真好好地休息过。唯有这两天，有这个机会可以让身体、心灵、头脑休息个够！哈哈 一觉谁到自然醒！真的好舒服喔。原来忙了一阵子，放慢一下脚步偶尔来个休息，还蛮不错的喔！嘻嘻
休息够了，再来冲刺！
两天的休息希望可以换来五天的精力
明天又要开始冲了！！！希望一切顺利~加油！

累。充实

哈咯，很快的一个星期又这样过去啦！可以说很累，我的累应该是已经到了最顶位变成麻木了。呵呵  有时候甚至自己在做些什么，自己也不清楚也不晓得了！我妈每天都说＂你呀，每天都把自己搞得怎么累，又吃睡，整个脸色都变了。＂她每天都在碎碎念着我，说我不会照顾自己。其实我知道他们真的很担心我、关心我的健康，我知道的，心里收到了。那股爱才是我要的动力，因为有我就不能停止对社会的服务。从小到大，我的理念都没变。可他们每天都会说，我不会照顾自己如何去帮助别人。哎哟，我就是做好准备了，照顾好了才会去帮助的。我这一小小的力量其实也不算什么啊。哈哈哈  大家能够感受到这人间的爱才算是伟大！
这个星期一到日都在忙耶~请看我的行程表就知道了！
星期一~和 Raymond 一起讨论proposal
星期二~工作面试在吉隆坡
星期三~YES! 被邀请出席一个交流会，然后赶去学校开会
星期四~帮妈妈准备火锅夜，做proposal
星期五~Job Training (Yakult),赶去见我最亲爱的Helen老师聚会一起吃晚餐
星期六~Community Service 1st training(STACT CLUB),一起學跳團康、舞，在一起的感覺真好玩！然后开始我第一天的工作 part time promoter 
星期天~作工！
所以现在的我已经是超级无敌大忙人！
可以說是累得充實！

忙碌中的我~

本來應該屬於輕鬆、沒事做、無聊的假期，但一切出乎意料！匆匆忙忙中過了兩個星期的假期，真是太不可思议！
這兩個星期的行程都是滿滿的，就連我媽都覚得我好像在做什麼大生意。每個晚上不到一兩點都不睡！身體也要開始亮紅燈了，老毛病又發作！我這個人啊，就是這樣了！硬要做到最頂，爬到最高，真的手腳無力了才愿意停下來歇歇。真不好的壞習慣 不好學哦！
沒法啦，現在又要忙 YES! Club,Stact Club,应酬朋友,開會,做 proposal,做影片,還有陪家人的時間不能少。接下來，還要去應徵，做兼職。有得忙咯！哈哈

~Happy Holiday~

Oh yeah!!!Finally final is final!!!!!wow 
Can fly like a G6~hahahaha 
Yea,I noe I'm crazy but I am too high~today is the last paper for our Final exam,tat's English~not so nervous and can relax a bit edi...
Not like business management stress all the way,somemore my neck strain coz sleep not well...sigh~but everything's over!!!
Maybe is a gd things for me la coz tis times I really become serious edi,wan to aim high marks ma...therefore,went to group study everyday wif the guys b4 the exam...hahahaha  well,i'm happy tat our hard work paid off...at least I can answer all the question in business paper,but right or wrong I not sure la~and we help each other b4 the exam...
Today 8am start my exam but I 5mins late,anyway still got the time to do,the day b4 today we already plan where to celebrate after the final!and was so excited to the celebration,hahaha 
After exam went to Sunway sing k wif the group of ppl...woohoo~
Is my time!!!so happy enjoy and had a great time wif my classmates!I love them so much 
After sing k den go movie again,really damn yeng lo,and they plan to eat steamboat together also but so sry I couldn't join,maybe next time
Anyhow,wanna thx guys make my day a wonderful day

It is Sunday!!!

Sunday morning woke up den study again,yesterday slept at 2am but still can woke up at 10am...lol...
I can feel the stress when my final is coming...coz I jus wanna archive my goals!!!
My friend keep on tease me,told me dunnid study like mad,am I?!maybe~
but when the result out I will feel happy coz at least I got study and put a lot of my effort!!! 
Well,then went to kuchai lama wif my family to hav our brunch!
Come back study again...and suddenly my dog barked,I went to check out!!!
Found out it's a SNAKE!!!!
Totally freak me out,I dunno wat to do,scream all the way and wake my bro up,but my bro also cannot do anything,I call my neighbor uncle to help is kill it...
And den everything's settle down,wat a gd experience again...lol...

Final is coming!!!

Tis week jus finish all the presentation and we gonna prepared for our final exam on next week!
Stress up man!!!but luckily got some friend acc me to study 
Went to college yesterday although there's no class...coz I had date wif my fren to hav a group study!
Well,on the way to college,there's some "gd experience" happen to me...after I had pass through the Alam Impian tol...a Honda city car wif an old man started to stared and laugh at me,I guess he wanna challenge me to race car...he speed in front of me and pass by my car...he keep on tease me and show me 
Alright,here I'm to say challenge accepted,I race wif him all the way at Kesas highway...wow,is jus awesome coz never speed for long time,den I win him,coz I drive at the fast lane!hahaha 
Till we reach at the subang bridge there,he pass through my car and den  for me...I laughed at him!!!damn stupid 
Who noe he supposed to turn up to the Sunway bridge there but he show me as he wanted my phone number,den he followed me till SS 15...
I was like shit man!!!tis time I had been followed by tis old man,maybe he's a metamorphosis...who noe?!
I drive and so jam at ss15,I call my friend to help me,coz he jus stay nearby and also waiting for me...he told me not to parking 1st,I keep on drive around and around try to keep away frm the car...and den my friend come n save me the car disappear and luckily got my friend acc me,at least not too scared edi~lol...
Den went to lunch and den study!!!
After study turn up watch movie,we watch the stupid and the most boring movie,had paid RM13 to scared urself watch ghost movie,but not scary at all...lol...the 1st time I watch till the half den leave the cinema...anyway had a lot of fun wif the guys 
Now concentrate on study 1st!after tat we gotta plan again to hav fun!!!

Bad Day 

我相信再怎麼樂觀或開朗的人也總藏不住心中的悲哀
有時候真的很不喜歡自己故作堅強的一面！是的，有時候隱藏自己悲傷的一面是因為不想讓身邊的人擔心！我的性格就是這樣啊！只想和身邊的人分享我的快樂而不是分擔我的憂慮！
這幾天的心情都很复雑！我不知怎麼說！就是發生很多不愉快的事！有時候，我眞的試着忍氣吞聲，只為了不想讓大家再添加更多的爭執！算了吧！我的痛楚沒人會明白！
但很感恩我那班朋友，在我不開心的時候，你們似乎能感應到。因為你們平時一起哈巴拉，讓我的心填份喜悅！
調皮的一班真的很愛你們！
對了前天，發現我的寶貝車被撞！恨死那個不負責任的人，撞了我的車逃跑！上天一定會惩罚你！好哀啊！！

Exam week!!!

Tis week is also my busy week...hahaha coz u noe wat!EXAM lo!today only finish my test 2 ah damn pity lo,2 week later is my final edi...Sigh
Although today is my business management test 2,yesterday I still went to join my Stact Club new member gathering...Stact Club=student action club!I think it's quite a fun club la bcoz they got community service,those camp and den others more events...hahaha  actually is my cousin told me tis is the famous club in inti den my friends also call me to join,so I jus join lo...
Yesterday night was the gathering!I met a lot of new friends and den we played station games!  can say long time I din play edi coz last time everytimes I planned now I play!!!woohoo 
well,dun think tat i not study for my test but I did it the b4 yesterday...hahaha  study till 3am something was the crazy things I did...coz the more I study the more I feel energetic 
Busy week la,seriously...Sometimes busy till no time to eat,and tis is wat u can see!hahaha 